J.P MC MENAMIN.co.uk

 Click here to read JPs story NEW 17/10/06

 WHO IS J.P. MCMENAMIN?
 By Orville McCyclops. (The noted historian and part time ice   
 cream man)

 JP Mc Menamin was born on the 20^th of April 1943. Adolph Hitler  
 was also born on the 20^th of April.
 The two men have never met because one of them is dead.
 JP was born in a run down shack by a railway track where he 
 spent his childhood days.
 World War 2 was at its height when JP was born.In just two years
 the war was over.
 Some people think that JP did not get enough credit for ending
 the war.
 By all accounts, JP was a lovely child.
 People talk about his pink, chubby cheeks and his two dainty,
 dimples.
 But all agree, that JP’s face, was pale and white.

 Some thought JP a strange child.
 He never left the house for nine years.
 Then the district nurse, noticed that the
 umbilical cord had not been cut.
 When young JP was growing up
 he wanted to be an astronaut.
 He used to climb into the washing machine
 and ask his mother to activate the spin cycle.
 He never made it to the moon
 But he was very clean.

 JP loved school
 as long as he didn’t have to go to it.
 JP began his writing career at school.
 He started with crayons
 and then moved on to a pencil.
 In no time JP was writing stories
 and even the odd poem
 in his spare time.

 When JP left school he soon made his mark around Castlederg.
 This came to an end when the police nicked him for writing graffiti
 on walls.
 Then one day JP tuned into the Gerry Anderson show and his life
 changed.
 He sent Gerry a poem, Gerry read it.
 He sent Gerry another poem and Gerry read it too.
 Gerry Anderson took JP under his wing.
 There wasn’t a lot of room because Jordie Tuft was in there too 
 with an auld buck goat. 

 JP has written six books and hundreds of poems yet he still has 
 time for the simple things in life like running after bicycles and  
 sitting in an oak tree yelling “Cuckoo- cuckoo!”
 Has fame changed JP?
 Not a bit.
 He is still as arrogant and big-headed as ever.
 What is he working at now?
 I hear you ask.
 Good question.
 I spoke to him last night at his penthouse flat in downtown 
 Puddlealley.
 He told me he was working on two books.
 The Wit and Wisdom of Peter Robinson. 
 And The Lives and Loves of Sean "Romeo" Coyle complete with
 photographs.
 The second book will soon be made into a film. Christopher Lee
 will play Sean Coyle if he can lose four feet in height
 before filming starts.
 JP would like to wish all his fans a very happy Pancake Tuesday 
 and hopes to see you all soon in the back snug of Reilly’ pub.

© Copyright 2009 J P McMenamin